Everyone has three lives: a public life, a private life, and a secret life..Is it??

Quoted by Gabriel García Márquez "Everyone has three lives: a public life, a private life, and a secret life"

Some have even described it as establishment of a distinct ecosystem for cultivating and grooming who we are in public, private, and in secret.

Let us understand what each of these Lives or ecosystem mean

Public life -- that which any ordinary person can see of you.

Private life -- that which somebody with investigative skills/voyeuristic tendencies/obsession could find out. So basically it open to close friends, loved ones and family.

Secret life -- that which is kept to oneself (and sometimes even from oneself!)

 

While most of us will agree with Gabriel García Márquez, but I on other hand will beg to differ.

I see it as 'Three interconnected rooms in our minds' in the following order of Public, Private and Secret. The door to the first room (public) is suppose to always open. Anyone can enter and leave at any time.

On basis of trust and emotion we intentionally or inadvertently allow people to the second room(private) by opening that door for few. These happens when we want to feel special, share things, know what others think about us etc. Sometimes people overstay in this room and are needed to be ousted from the room while many times people themselves leave the room by their choice because they find it too suffocated.

There are times there is lot of external stress and fatigue affecting our inner struggle and we are forced to open the door to the third room. We allow someone through the door to the third room (secret) to know our concealed feelings, thoughts and action. We feel a lot better by sharing it.

I called it as three interconnected rooms because any fluctuation or damage in any of the room has a 'Butterfly Effect'. It result is in shutting of all the doors for time being. Making all the rooms secluded and concealed there by; all of them become secret rooms.

But in reality it is a mere illusion we have created. What is Public to someone is secret to the other and what is secret to some one can be public to others. 

We all were born with single lives. We had nothing called as public, private or secret when we were born. But over the course of time with our surrounding and experiences, we created these so called rooms/ecosystem/lives to assure ourselves we are unique and we are happy.

We have trained our mind "To accept the illusion as reality and reality as illusion". May be that is our formula to be happy or just yet another way to complicate our simple lives.

Payback Series or Deja Vu

India vs England series was billed as "payback" series for the miseries India suffered in England. Being one of the many Indian fans who went through a phase of severe depression during India's tour of  England 2011, I too wished that the English suffer the same Agony as India.

But as the series ended, the things I could relate between both the series was that, here in India, English Batsmen were Clueless, Bewildered and Confused dancing to the tune of the Indian Spinners on dusty subcontinent wicket. While in England it were the Indian Batsmen who hopped, jumped and ducked to the swing and bounce on the Green English wickets. If  young Suresh Raina seemed clueless against the swinging ball, then Jonathan Bairstow's expression after getting bowled by Jadeja was no different. If Indians after losing couple of matches started fielding like Donkeys, than English after losing first couple of matches fielded like one legged Donkey.

In fact the last time England won a series of any kind in India was in 1984-85; no matter how much they plan or how early they turn up, a tour of India usually seems to end up a discombobulating ordeal. In 2005-06 England lost the series 5-1, in the next tour the English were humiliated by 5-0, in the interrupted seven-match series in 2008-09. Here again in 2011, they are humbled by a scoreline of 5-0. So can we call it a Deja Vu?

In fact India in India are really strong with 27 wins in 36 over the last three years and only a single defeat in 16 home ODIs in the last 12 months.

There is no taking away anything from India's performance. They have been really professional and merciless with their spirited performance. But after all these, the series just proves only two things, one that India are exceptionally good at home and two that England are terrible on Indian soil.

It wasn't the revenge or avenge of their humiliation on the tour to England. It was not a Payback series. Some say that if the English had been whitewashed in the test series than it would have been the perfect Payback. 

But the "Payback if at all, has to be served to England in their den"

Till then Kudos to Team India for their dominating performance, Captain cool for retaining his form and tag, Ravindra Jadeja for his comeback and young Indian guns to keep our hope alive.

Poochne mein kya jaata hai???

I am sure all of you must have watched this latest Tata Sky Ad 'Poochne mein kya jaata hai'



The ad put the reality in front us in a simple and beautiful manner. The ad is built on the premise of "ask, why not?". I am sure almost most of you must have liked the concept of the ad. The ad shot to fame immediately because everyone of us could relate ourselves to the ad.

As kids we always use to pester our parents and teachers with endless questions that were stupid but yet inquisitive. In fact sometimes we even left our parents and teachers speechless with our questions and our inquisitiveness. We believed in what they answered, we learnt by asking.

But 20 years later, now we don't ask questions.

In Classrooms, we think what if everyone thinks that my question is stupid and everyone starts laughing on me?

With Friends, we think, If I ask him/her what shall he think about me? He will think that I talk to him when I need help. He will think of me as dumb. He will think how insensitive I am.

With Someone we love, We don't ask them out because we think 'What if he/she tells me no?

In Office, We think, our bosses might think we are unqualified for our job?

While shopping, we don't ask about discounts, because it harms our image.

We hesitate to ask help from strangers, we hesitate to ask for lift, , we hesitate to ask for direction, we hesitate to ask for more, we hesitate to ASK. We all know this but still we hesitate. All of us face this syndrome. We just don't feel comfortable to ask.

Because of this we lose our friends, loved ones, money, time and many other important things of life which we would have enjoyed, had we ASKED. The ad showcases it is better to try and fail rather than failing to try. You never know when the lady luck smiles on you.

To be candid, I got the very thought about writing on this very topic when I was talking on phone for work related purpose to some one and I was hesitating to ask for help, but some how I did and the opposite person really helped me to come up with a brilliant plan. So it is a matter just trying to come out of your comfort zone and ask.

The other ad that perfectly answers the situation is Airtel's 'Barriers break when people talk'




Let the curiosity in us come to the surface, lets learn and lets ask..coz 'Poochne mein kya jaata hai'