Quoted by Gabriel García Márquez "Everyone has three lives: a public life, a private life, and a secret life"
Some have even described it as establishment of a distinct ecosystem for cultivating and grooming who we are in public, private, and in secret.
Let us understand what each of these Lives or ecosystem mean
Public life -- that which any ordinary person can see of you.
Private life -- that which somebody with investigative skills/voyeuristic tendencies/obsession could find out. So basically it open to close friends, loved ones and family.
Secret life -- that which is kept to oneself (and sometimes even from oneself!)
Private life -- that which somebody with investigative skills/voyeuristic tendencies/obsession could find out. So basically it open to close friends, loved ones and family.
Secret life -- that which is kept to oneself (and sometimes even from oneself!)
While most of us will agree with Gabriel García Márquez, but I on other hand will beg to differ.
I see it as 'Three interconnected rooms in our minds' in the following order of Public, Private and Secret. The door to the first room (public) is suppose to always open. Anyone can enter and leave at any time.
On basis of trust and emotion we intentionally or inadvertently allow people to the second room(private) by opening that door for few. These happens when we want to feel special, share things, know what others think about us etc. Sometimes people overstay in this room and are needed to be ousted from the room while many times people themselves leave the room by their choice because they find it too suffocated.
There are times there is lot of external stress and fatigue affecting our inner struggle and we are forced to open the door to the third room. We allow someone through the door to the third room (secret) to know our concealed feelings, thoughts and action. We feel a lot better by sharing it.
I called it as three interconnected rooms because any fluctuation or damage in any of the room has a 'Butterfly Effect'. It result is in shutting of all the doors for time being. Making all the rooms secluded and concealed there by; all of them become secret rooms.
But in reality it is a mere illusion we have created. What is Public to someone is secret to the other and what is secret to some one can be public to others.
We all were born with single lives. We had nothing called as public, private or secret when we were born. But over the course of time with our surrounding and experiences, we created these so called rooms/ecosystem/lives to assure ourselves we are unique and we are happy.
We have trained our mind "To accept the illusion as reality and reality as illusion". May be that is our formula to be happy or just yet another way to complicate our simple lives.
:) :) mighty impressed! YOu have written this one really well.... :)
ReplyDeleteSo true, so many people build walls around.. higher higher to shield one's self from hurt... walls of these three illusionaty rooms! :) nice hai dude!
Cheers :)
Well written. I especially liked d concept of 'Interconnected rooms'. It is quite true that we open certain doors to certain people in our lives. Create walls. Categorize things. Limit information. Give access... Too many things and too many rules... But like u said wen we are born we dont have any public/private or secret life... dis is something which evolves as we do .... may be that is one of the reason ppl crave to be a kid once again... free from any of these illusions....
ReplyDeleteOn a lighter note, I am glad dis one has just 1 small typo. I must say, U r improving. ;)
A good read. Awaiting a second part for dis one like I said i was craving to read more into this. Keep on writing.
@Swathi: Glad to see appreciation coming from some one who herself writes artistically and makes words more powerful than a sword and a picture
ReplyDelete@Dipti: Free from illusion itself is an illusion..Coz if you think there is illusion then u can never see the reality and vice versa..It is a complex game of life where the more you untangle the more tangled you get.. So the ones who think from their hearts are the ultimate winners..
ReplyDeleteAbout second part..Well I don't know it will be a reality or illusion..Bt yes there will be second part..Keep pondering on what i said.. :-)
I think Garcia-Marquez point has been misunderstood in your dissection. What he means is that although most activities, thoughts, emotions etc are shared at different times with different people depending on your own decisions of where those lines (walls) lie there is undoubtedly some things one will never share with anyone, not our parents, children, closest of friends, partners or even our god(s) or psychologists (depending on where you stand on the issue) for example you may be perceived as a very sober and conservative person by people around work, sport club etc. (public) when in fact you are a sex addict and only those you engage with on that level know this (private) but there will be some fantasies you would never share even with your private circle because it's just too personal or (secret)and might involve fairly violent or other unimaginable or not-widely accepted fantasy. That is just one example of course. If you have absolutely no thought you would never tell ANYONE then I'd suggest you live a little and allow your imagination go places that scare you and you will soon see Garcia-Marquez point.
ReplyDeletewhat are we really cultivating in these lives? they are nothing but truth and lies. human beings compartmentalize their singular lives into three to cultivate what is truth and what is a lie. the secret life is not only shared with others but also kept from one's self as an easier way to live.
ReplyDeletebecause of our secret life... we cultivate lies as it's "more comfortable than doubt, more useful than love, more lasting than truth.” the personal part was to fall in love with someone in your private circle. and because it was a secret where none was suppose to know including that someone...
"Wherever they might be they always remember that the past was a lie, that memory has no return, that every spring gone by could never be recovered, and that the wildest and most tenacious love was an ephemeral truth in the end.”
Garcia-Marquez point is that our deepest love is our secret lie - our passion we never share with anyone and never admit it to ourselves. if we look back at our lives, that could only be short lived.
In your "about me" section, do you mean "can't not accept it" or do you mean "can't accept it"?
ReplyDeleteI saw this quoted by author and ghost writer Richard Flanagan in the Financial Times. Title of Article: WHICH LIE DID I TELL? Much worth reading.
ReplyDeleteit's interestingly true,
ReplyDeleteEvery human being has three lives. A public life. A private life. And a secrete life. But there is no life, even a secret life, that time will not reveal.
ReplyDeleteGood article about Gabo... May I share an Interview with Gabriel Garcia Marquez (imaginary) in http://stenote.blogspot.com/2014/09/an-interview-with-gabriel.html
ReplyDeleteThere is now a 4th life the "social media life," which is different than one's public life in that we curate it. As a result it is the least accurate of all out personalities.
ReplyDeleteWhat about the spiritual life of a person. Where does this falls into
ReplyDeleteGreat and I have a neat provide: What Renovation Expenses Are Tax Deductible kitchen remodel companies near me
ReplyDelete